Get all 33 Vicious Instinct Records releases available on Bandcamp and save 70%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Opulence, Monstrous Eruption of Impetuous Preposterosity, The Brutality of Tomorrow, Scrutiny, Death Perception, Ulter Praefinitum, Rebirth, Beyond Human Concepts, and 25 more.
1. |
The Comparing Mind
03:00
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Always focusing on what I don’t have, wondering what it’s like on the other side when I should be content with what’s in front of my eyes.
Recipes for self progression, constant comparisons.
Pulling me through tough times it seems but when I break it down it's what brings me down. Drags me back to the fork in the road, where I constantly choose the hardest route.
A confused state of mind making me blind.
Maybe suffering is a choice, a mind shift.
Progression from a place of fear.
Isn’t getting me anywhere.
Intrusive thoughts cloud and confuse.
I guess I’m just still learning how to deal with my life.
Focusing on others this whole time, I kind of lost myself along the line.
Scared of wasting time.
I wish I was closer to the heart and mind I want, the heart and mind I know I have.
Compressed by struggle I need to dig through this tired mind and find out where I stand.
Maybe he’s lost maybe he’s fucking gone but if I don’t try I’ll never fucking know, I’ll never grow. Maybe he’s lost, maybe he’s found but if I don’t try I’ll never fucking know.
Im doing the best I can, no one enjoys being sad.
There is so much else out there left for me to find, I begin to think about the size of this world.
All the people I’ve never met, all the experiences I’ve never felt.
The span of time and how things arise but later dissolve.
Fuck am I doing it again? Can I change the route in my brain and get back to the easy side, fuck the comparing mind.
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2. |
Past The Shadows
03:20
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The more I own the more I want, the more I buy the more that I'm bought (x2)
Never before better off but I've never felt worse.
A 23 year old apparent success, that's what they want you to think.
Reality is I'm fucked, so I’ll just pour another drink.
The harder I work the older I feel. When does it stop?
Counting fake numbers on a screen until life passes me by, feeble grip on the opportunities that once presented.
Sometimes I whisper alone that everything is gonna be alright but maybe I've promised myself to much, maybe it's not enough.
Miles of misery with no turns in sight. Searching for peace but this future lacks light. This heart of mine begins to lack fucking fight.
Past the shadows and darkness I'll continue to pretend.
It won't last long but it's enough to get me by, how fucked is that?
I’m just surviving, these are the things you realise only when you look back.
I wish there was a secret place I knew where I could dig a hole and hide.
Sleep away my life.
Escape to where I felt good inside,
I don’t think I can last another day here.
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3. |
Lucid Vexations
03:30
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Constantly worrying about what people think of me, filling my body with toxic anxieties.
Trying to justify my intrusive way of life,
sentient to the point of self harm.
The walls filled with reminders of who I wanted to be and who I never became.
Striving for so much more, but always coming up slightly short.
I often wonder what I could’ve done differently.
What could have been if there was just one less ripple in my past.
Taking out my frustration in the form of self mutilation, complete desecration.
My limbs now useless lumps, I’m bludgeoning myself.
Dejected and down I’ve taken the easy way out.
Body fluid is leeching out of me as I sit and prepare to be at ease.
Taking deep breaths embracing the fucking pain.
Compounding insanity, vision goes in and out. The bodies lay dormant and I'm starting to freak out.
My anxieties claw at me from above, the blackness never lifts.
Nothing but misery ahead.
The earths crust melts and begins to contort, I fall beneath to blackness.
Surrounded by the stench of death.
I can’t fucking see, I’m stuck in a realm of regret.
In a place I can’t escape.
My body begins to fucking break, it’s feeble and weak.
I fell through what I thought was foundation, stable ground.
I thought this was an escape but it seems the pain has just started again.
Reoccurring strain.
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4. |
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My disposition seems almost constant, labyrinths of dark energy and states of confusion became a natural trait.
Brought on by constantly altering the chemicals in my brain. Taking whatever I could find that takes away the pain and emptiness inside but it’s always nearby.
Never far away eating holes in my soul.
Let me escape, find a way out.
Longing for a time where I’ll feel alright but maybe it’s not meant to be, maybe it’s a little too late. Down an endless road to a place where I can’t see, to a place where nothing fucking breathes.
Fuck.
The temperature drops, the familiar feeling of nothing is back and all I can see is the black nights ahead.
Time spent alone in my room flooding my bloodstream with drugs, forgetting about time and forgetting about life. Sleep the light away, wake up in the middle of the night.
Feelings and thoughts compressed in a psychedelic slumber. I thought if I just slept it off it would go away but now I realise I was opening voids in my mind I could never close. Formalities of hate, confusion based.
Lost in a barren land, unable to tell where I am.
The sky has fallen and faded into another realm, my mind disconnected and all reality I once knew is forgotten.
A past time of suffering into a time of torture, revealed is a much more dark state.
Endless black skies and multiple moons feeding the flying creatures in the sky. The screeches are keeping me up all fucking night.
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5. |
The Further...
02:50
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Instrumental
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6. |
Reflection: Depression
03:00
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Endless searches for contrast in my world. Searching for the prominence of light or lack thereof to unveil the things I need, finding the person I want to be.
But I feel lost in layers of hard times, a constant battle inside.
My mind slides.
It all sounds so bad in my head, even worse when I’m speaking it.
Wasting my time and wasting my life.
Realising I was in denial.
I can’t be the only one.
I hope one day I'll stop looking back. It's a fine line between reflection and depression. Never paying much attention, lost in my head and never quite present.
Days go by and the months pass, I’ve barely left the house since we moved to this place.
It was meant to be a fresh start.
To turn things around for my spines sake and for my headspace. I guess now I’m realising nothing has changed. The time spent searching for my head and the answers has hurt me.
The pressure to pretend never ends, always making out like I’m not spiralling.
I think we all have the same emptiness inside at times but having things to look forward to in life gets you by.
I guess after so many hard times my mind began to roam.
Now looking back from this point in time from a darker perspective.
I start to appreciate what I did have and forget about what I didn’t.
I start to appreciate.
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7. |
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Justifying the time spent searching for praise in my head, why does what you think of me hold gravity in my world? (x2)
Thoughts robbing my time of things more precious, things more valuable.
Amplifying false engagement of strangers. So caught up, stuck in the hidden ruts.
Fabricated and deep seeded in my mind. Synthetic and unwanted but somehow disguised as needed, a necessary evil? Necessary evil.
Looking for ourselves in all the wrong places, external sources creating internal voids.
Investing my time and money in things I don’t even need, spending nights alone looking at these screens.
An amplified scope of judgement, pinning us down and exploring our nature. Simplistic notions now outweighed and forgotten.
I can never hear myself fucking think.
Toxic lives contorted, twisted into shape.
Like a warped spine that tells a story of a better time.
I hope I never forget how beautiful life can be, I need to find my way back again.
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8. |
An Intrinsic Void
03:00
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Eyes slowly open, still dark out.
I haven't a slept a full night this week.
The tv echoes as I fall in and out of consciousness.
The internal battle that no one can see, a battle I have almost lost.
Every day is the same I drink until I can't see and repeat.
I don’t want to get out of bed, sleep away the day and dream about you and where it went wrong.
Wrong.
Euphoria my friend can’t you stay around? Even if it’s just for a little while. (x2)
Results of the hours I’ve spent up in my head. Living up there, hiding from the world in this altered state.
I’m awake but so far away,
The beginning of yet another wasted day. (x2)
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Vicious Instinct Records Australia
Vicious Instinct Records is an independently owned and operated extreme metal label based in Brisbane, Australia. The label
was founded in 2014 by Matt Turkington, and quickly became a respected name in the underground. We pride ourselves on printing only the best quality products and providing customer service that is second to none.
We exist to bring you the most extreme music known to man!
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